Do you sometimes notice that when you are with the man or woman you feel romantically and sexually about you put them on a pedestal?

You may think at first you are doing this because of how special they are to you. You may think you admire another person or “look up” to them. This is just not the case when we choose to place someone on a pedestal. In this case, by placing another person above us, we are literally and automatically putting ourselves below them in a much lower position with much less power. Not only is this a very vulnerable position, but also a very unhealthy one. If we want to find and seek healthy relationships we must not knowingly put others above us leaving us feeling worthless and not good enough to be valued and wanted.

What is wrong with us when we do this?

Why do we feel worthless and yet, still long for and pray that our “partner” will want us just as badly as we want them?

We are seeking validation for our feelings and seeking a reciprocation that will keep us in our pattern of denial and avoidance. We don’t want to face the issues we are actually fighting to overcome. Instead of playing into this negative pattern, we must allow ourselves to find a partner with whom we feel equally and mutually connected to. In a relationship, neither person is better than the other, and if there is an understanding where both see each other as special that is a healthy connection. After all, we are not in relationships to feel miserable and not good enough. If that is the case, we have ourselves to blame and can willingly experience that once we walk away from the situation. It is important to rid of those self-destructive thoughts and feel confident with our unique selves. This is a process, one that starts with awareness. Once you are aware you can continue to teach yourself every day until you finally reach the point of feeling worth it and good enough.