It can feel relieving when you finally work up the courage to be assertive. Being assertive is an act that can help define boundaries and voice things you are not ok with. There may be fears you have associated with being assertive:
Will I come off as mean?
Will I come off as being needy?
Will I come across as bossy?
These are crucial fears and they may create severe anxiety in voicing what you want and need. It is ok to be assertive and ask for what you want. It is also ok to say NO! when you know something doesn’t align with your values.
Being assertive helps to create healthy communication with others. If you communicate how you are feeling, others will know how you will and will not accept to be treated. Also, in revealing your true feelings (being vulnerable) you will expose your emotions for others to better see how their energy affects you as well.
Assertiveness is a two way street. It does not come off mean if you approach the other person in a calm way. The tricky part that takes long to establish is being calm and stern at the same time. When you can be stern and know you got your point across that’s true assertiveness.
Communicate your needs and create boundaries so you can always feel respected. If you love yourself enough it will come so natural because you want others to know what you are not ok with. Spread assertiveness around, add a little love and communication can flow freely and beautifully.